Women Mentoring Women: Titus 2 Mentoring

Women need women who will share their lives to train them how to apply the Word to all of life...

Women need women who will share their lives to train them how to apply the Word to all of life – how to love others, care for their families, cultivate community, work productively, and extend compassion according to God’s Word.

~ Susan Hunt

What Is Mentoring?

A Mentor, as it relates to the Bible, is someone who comes along side an individual, or a small group of individuals, to instruct them in Biblical truth. This includes much more than only teaching someone the truths in God’s Word. Obviously, the teaching of God’s Word to someone newer in the Faith is the most important aspect of Mentoring. However, Mentoring includes first a reflection of the Mentor themself.

A Mentor position is not a singular position. It overlaps various roles within the Church. For example, a Pastor, Elder, Deacon, and Teachers, should all be able to Mentor others. The Mentor teaches others the ways in which they should conduct their lives; how they should engage with others; how they should present themselves in society; and social environments, among other things.

Jesus Christ is our Perfect example of what a Mentor entails. Paul is another example of what a Mentor should look like. Jesus Christ is the Perfect, and Paul is the imperfect. God can use the imperfect to "per-fect" certain individuals to be a Mentor, meaning He can use imperfect individuals by equipping them to help other Christians in their walk.

Where In The Bible Does It Talk About Mentoring?

“Have you understood all these things?” They said to him, “Yes.” And he said to them, “Therefore every scribe who has been trained for the kingdom of heaven is like a master of a house, who brings out of his treasure what is new and what is old.” 

Matthew 13:51-52

The main idea is that the disciples – who had just claimed to understand what Jesus taught – are now responsible to bring forth their understanding to others, as if they were distributing from the storehouse of their wisdom and understanding. This storehouse contains things new and old. Jesus, in these verses is saying, “After you have been instructed by me, you have the knowledge, not only of the things you used to know, but of things you never knew before, and even the knowledge which you had before is illuminated by what I have told to you.” (Barclay)

Furthermore, “A small degree of knowledge is not sufficient for a preacher of the Gospel.

The sacred writings should be his treasure, and he should properly understand them… his knowledge consists in being well instructed in the things concerning the kingdom of heaven, and the art of conducting men thither.” (Clarke)

Jesus mentored His disciples. We find in John 12:26 Jesus telling His disciples, “If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.”

Jesus instructs His disciples in Matthew 28:19-20 to, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

A mentoring relationship for women is based on the model set forth is Titus 2:3-5:

3. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4. and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5. to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Types of Mentoring

Peer-to-Peer Mentoring This is a casual form of one-on-one mentoring. Peer-to-peer mentoring involves individuals at a similar level of experience, intentionally supporting and encouraging each other's spiritual growth. We see the apostles mentor one another as peers in the Word of God. Paul and Barnabas also had a peer-to-peer mentoring relationship.

What are the key characteristics of peer-to-peer mentoring?

• It is focused on building close relationships and community. (Proverbs 27:17)

• It helps provide accountability, encouragement, and spiritual growth. (Hebrews 10:24-25)

• It helps provide biblical support and learning from one another. (Proverbs 27:17)

• It is Scripture-centered, rooted in studying and applying God's Word together.

  (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

• It emphasizes the value of companionship, mutual support, and having wise counsel (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

Peer-to-peer mentoring typically involves regular sessions for prayer, Bible study, and discussion. It also emphasizes sharing life experiences, applying Biblical principles, as well as being vulnerable with struggles. It requires a willingness to be vulnerable and transparent. It tends to be the most casual and relaxed form of mentoring, which is also why it is recommended that it is done under ecclesiastical authority in a sound church environment.

Small Group Mentoring While not explicitly called "small group mentoring" in the Bible, these principles and examples demonstrate the importance of believers gathering in small groups for mutual edification, learning, and spiritual growth under the guidance of more mature believers. Jesus mentors the disciples as a small group.

What are the key characteristics of small group mentoring?

• It is focused on building close relationships and community. (Proverbs 27:17)

• It is intergenerational, whereas older believers teach younger believers, passing on spiritual wisdom and knowledge, and fostering spiritual growth and maturity. (Titus 2:3-5, 2 Timothy 2:2, Ephesians 4:11-16)

• It is Scripture-centered, rooted in studying and applying God's Word together. (2

•   Timothy 3:16-17)

• Both mentors and mentees learn from each other. (Proverbs 27:17)

• It helps provide accountability and encouragement. (Hebrews 10:24-25)

• It helps develop new leaders. (2 Timothy 2:2)

Small group mentoring typically involves regular sessions for prayer, Bible study, and discussion. It also emphasizes sharing life experiences, applying Biblical principles, as well as offering mentees chances to practice leadership. This needs to be led by someone accountable to elders in a local church body.

Formal Mentoring (One on One) One-on-one mentoring allows for personalized guidance, encouragement, and spiritual growth. It helps establish an emotional connection centered around the mentee's greatest felt needs. There are several examples of one-on-one mentoring relationships in the Bible, such as Moses mentoring Joshua, Eli mentoring Samuel, Paul mentoring Timothy, and Jesus mentoring individual disciples.

What are the key characteristics of One-on-One mentoring?

• It is intergenerational, whereas older believers teach younger believers, passing on spiritual wisdom and knowledge, and fostering spiritual growth and maturity. (Titus 2:3-5; 2 Timothy 2:2; Ephesians 4:11-16)

• It is Scripture-centered, rooted in studying and applying God's Word together. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

• Both mentors and mentees learn from each other. (Proverbs 27:17)

• It helps provide accountability and encouragement. (Hebrews 10:24-25)

One-on-one mentoring encompasses various aspects of a mentee's life, including spiritual growth, ministry skills, and personal challenges. It typically involves regular sessions for prayer, Bible study, and discussion. The focus is on sharing life experiences, applying biblical principles, and offering chances for mentees to practice leadership. Although the mentee's development is the primary concern, one-on-one mentoring can also benefit the mentor by enhancing their spiritual and leadership abilities. This type of mentoring ought to be supervised by an individual who is accountable to the elders in a local church community.

What Sets Mentoring Apart From Discipleship?

Now that we have been introduced to what mentoring is, we need to look at discipleship. discipleship is the “glue” if you will, that holds the mentor/mentee relationship together. Discipling someone else is the process that requires the utmost patience and compassion on the mentor’s part. Without patience and compassion, a mentoring relationship will not last. The mentor must have patience to allow the mentee to understand what is being taught, or explained, and come to their own understanding of what is being said. This does not mean that the mentee comes to their own idea of scripture in the sense of something being added to or taken from the scripture. Mentors should gently guide the mentee in the correct direction of the scripture and ensure that they understand the contextual thought surrounding the verse(s.) The mentee will be able to know truth by how the mentor presents, and explains the information needed to address the questions, or issues from the mentee.

What Are The Biblical Requirements for Mentoring?

Being a mentor, regardless of the type, has requirements biblically. It is important that a mentor, mentee, and anyone participating in any type of discipleship knows these requirements. Example matters. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” He said this because he understood the accountability he had to God behind his actions in leading people. We should seek to imitate Christ as well.

A mentor needs to be mindful of how they conduct their lives. 2 Timothy 2:14-26, Titus 2:3-5, and Proverbs 31 (the equivalent of a noble man for women) give a good set of qualifications of how someone like this should lead their lives. This section of Scripture also assumes that a person doing this is actively involved in a church for accountability to a pastor.

1. Spiritual Maturity: Older women should be "reverent in behavior" and exemplify Godly, virtuous, and noble character (Titus 2:3, Proverbs 31:10, 17, 25, 31).

2. Sound Doctrine: Mentors need to have a solid understanding of biblical teachings to "teach what is good" (Titus 2:3). This keeps them from being tossed to and fro by other doctrines, displaying spiritual wisdom. (Proverbs 31:26)

3. Self-Control: Older women should not be "slanderers or slaves to much wine" (Titus 2:3), demonstrating self-discipline.

4. The Ability To Teach: There should be a desire to actively train younger women (Titus 2:4).

5. Modeling Godly Behavior: Mentors must lead by example in areas like loving their husbands and children (Titus 2:4, Proverbs 31:12, 14, 16, 18).

6. Knowledge Of Practical Skills: Ability to teach younger women how to manage their homes and families (Titus 2:5, Proverbs 31:10-31).

7. Commitment To Discipleship: A dedication to investing time in relationships with younger women.

8. Ability To Apply Scripture: Skill in helping mentees apply biblical principles to daily life. (2 Timothy 2:14-16)

9. Prayer: Interceding for those they mentor and seeking God's wisdom.

10. Listening Skills: Being able to understand the needs and perspectives of younger women. This includes creating a safe environment for open and honest discussions and being trustworthy. (Proverbs 31:11)

11. Patience: Recognizing that growth and change take time. Speak with kindness. (Proverbs 31:20, 26)

12. Temperance: Avoids quarreling, especially with other Christians and family members. They strive for unity and peace and avoid gossip. (2 Timothy 2:14-16)

What Are Some Red Flags To Look For In Women Mentors?

1. You should never be mentored or discipled by someone, especially a woman, who is not submitted to a biblically sound church for accountability. This is a HUGE red flag.

2. If you see a woman consistently taking Scripture out of context or bad-mouthing others, she should be avoided as a mentor.

3. If a woman is not supported in her ministry by her husband and children, she should be avoided. This goes against Proverbs 31 qualities and Titus 2:3-5.

4. If she has parted ways maliciously with previous mentors, and this is a pattern, she should be avoided.

5. If she is not forgiving and keeps record of wrongs, this is not loving according to God's Word. She should be avoided.

6. If she is a newer Christian, not grounded in her faith, or lacks discernment, she should not be mentoring other women.

Why Is It Important For A Woman Who Mentors To Have A Local Church She Attends?

I wanted to add this part because this is something that has really been put heavily on my heart to emphasize. Let’s go to the Word of God. In Hebrews 13:17, the author is closing his letter to the audience with this:

Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they keep watch over your souls as those who will give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with grief, for this would be unprofitable for you.

The pastors and elders of the local church exercise the authority of Christ when they preach, teach, and apply Scripture. They serve the church on behalf of Jesus Christ and must give an account of their faithfulness. Even those who do not acknowledge God are ordained by and used by Him. This is evident throughout Scripture. The local church is responsible for helping its leaders and servants do their work with satisfaction and joy in the Lord. (Galatians 6:6)

The New Testament uses the Greek word for "one another" over fifty times to describe the relationship between Christians in the body of Christ. It is what is called a reciprocal pronoun. This means both parties are involved and will benefit from a particular action because both are doing it. This phrase is used to communicate the Lord’s intention for us to be involved in each other’s lives for the purpose of helping us grow stronger spiritually because of functioning in relationship with other members of the body of Christ. The local church is meant to be a place of reprieve in an otherwise hostile world. (1 Corinthians 12:22-25)

I understand that there are a lot of concerning things going on in the local church. However, when we begin to use that as an excuse to not go, we then become part of the problem instead of part of the solution. I will expand on this more in the future on my article regarding spiritual abuse. For now, understanding that God never made us to walk alone as Christians, but as a community of fellow believers. This is why it is critical to be sure to have a mentor who is accountable to someone for their own walk in a local church. Even Christ was accountable to God the Father. (Galatians 6:2)

Whether a mentor is writing her own curriculum or not, she is operating in the area of teaching and leadership. She therefore needs to have wise counsel to not only be accountable to but go to with questions in confidentiality with women she mentors.

Here are a few Scriptures about having wise counsel:

• Let the wise hear and increase in learning, and the one who understands obtain guidance (Proverbs 1:5)

• Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. (Proverbs 11:14)

• The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. (Proverbs 12:15)

• Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future (Proverbs 19:10)

• Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

  (Proverbs 19:20-21)

Here are a few Scriptures regarding accountability and edification in the local church:

• Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. (Ephesians 4:15-16)

• In Him the whole building is fitted together and grows into a holy temple in the Lord.

  (Ephesians 2:21)

• Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. (Colossians 3:16)

• I myself am satisfied about you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another. (Romans 15:14)

• Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load. (Galatians 6:1-5)