Who IS The Virtuous Woman?
- cmzbishopenterpris
- Jan 22, 2024
- 6 min read
Updated: Jan 29, 2024
Before we dive into this, I want to share with you a brief history on my understanding of this passage. I had heard the term "The Proverbs 31 Woman," and it seemed as though it was something that was unachievable. Any time I would look at this passage, I felt this huge disconnect with who this woman was and what she was doing. I saw a woman in the Bible, as well as my husband’s grandmother (he often referred to her as a Proverbs 31 Woman) that I would never be able to measure up to. I thought these women were perfect and had everything going for them. Once I was married, I suddenly felt like I had this heap of expectations dumped on me in this list known as, “The Proverbs 31 Woman.” What I did not understand is that this is not an overnight process, but one that takes years to walk through. So, I feel much compassion for those women who would rather just skip over this passage. There are two ways women typically approach Proverbs 31:10-31. They either excitedly approach the challenge, or they dread it. Today, I want to examine it biblically.
Proverbs 31:10-31 is a passage that is known as an acrostic. Each verse, beginning in verse 10 leading to verse 31, each begin with a successive letter of the Hebrew alphabet. This is thought to have been done to help them memorize the passage. According to the Complete Jewish Bible, the men sing this to the Jewish women every Friday night as a hymn before Kiddush. So, ladies, tell your husbands from now on, you want to be sung the hymn, “Woman of Valor.” I'm kidding...You should see the eye roll I get from my husband when I say things like this! Haha!
Proverbs chapter 31 begins with King Lemuel recounting advice he received from his mother. It is “…generally thought that what follows to the end of the chapter is a continuance of her words, in which she describes a person as a fit wife for her son. Some think that Bathsheba gave the materials, the sum and substance of this beautiful description, to Solomon; who put it in the artificial form it is, each verse beginning with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet in order till the whole is gone through; though rather it seems to be a composition of Solomon's, describing the character and virtues of his mother Bathsheba.” (Gill’s Exposition of the Bible)
Doing the will of God and seeking His righteousness as daughters of the King ensures we BECOME the virtuous woman. This is not meant to be a checklist, but an end goal for Christian women who love and fear the Lord. “This passage describes the kind of wife the Christian man should pray for and seek after. This passage reminds the Christian man that he must walk in the fear and wisdom of God so that he will be worthy of and compatible with such a virtuous woman. (Enduring Word Commentary)
What exactly IS the Proverbs 31 Woman?
It is a phrase most of us are familiar with, but what is it, really? The King James Version, verse 10 reads, “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies.” When we look at what virtuous means, it is a woman of noble character. She is someone who has great strength and morals in her moral character.
When we examine this acrostic, we see that verses 10-12 refer to marriage:
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 12:4
1. A virtuous woman is of high value to her husband, as they are hard to find. He can trust her, and she is loyal.
Moving onto verses 13-19, we see this section is describing her behavior. Here are the behavior traits of the virtuous woman:
2. She is not afraid of working with her hands and does so willingly. (13)
3. She was willing to go the distance to feed her family. The Bible teaches us that with food and raiment, we can be content (1 Timothy 6:8). The virtuous woman may have had a part to play in both. (14)
4. She woke up and managed her time well for her entire household. (15)
5. She understood what her family needed and planned accordingly with her resources. She was resourceful in spending and investing. (16)
6. The virtuous woman has an inner strength from the Lord which is able to help her accomplish physical tasks which require a great amount of physical strength. She is not soft, but strong due to hard work. (17)
7. She sees the fruits of her labor from working diligently. What she produced for her family was profitable. (18-19)
Verses 20-24 talk about the activities of the virtuous woman and what the fruit of her labor produced:
Driven by the priority of her family, they resulted in fruitfulness for:
The cause of the poor and needy (20)
Her neighbors anticipated her family’s need for the different seasons of the year. (21)
Blessings were returned to her because of God’s grace! (22)
A husband’s reputation always began in the home and still does. (23)
She also took time to make items of clothing for the purpose of trade, so they benefited as well. (24)
Verses 25-27 emphasize the virtuous woman’s character.
8. Her inward strength due to this showed her God-given wisdom, strength, and ability to face unexpected challenges. Her wise teachings were of kindness and mercy. Finally, she was a skilled homemaker.
Verses 28-29 talk about this woman’s family life.
9. This was a woman who was highly respected because her family praised her!
Verses 30-31 talk about the state of the virtuous woman’s spiritual life.
10. She resonated true beauty and holiness due to her fear and reverence for the Lord!
How Does This Apply Today?
The important thing to note about this passage on the virtuous woman is that this is not meant to serve as a checklist. As women, we will never be able to be this woman. John Gill, a
commentator, puts it like this, “The description is drawn up to such a pitch, and
written in such strong lines, as cannot agree with any of the daughters of Adam…;
not with Bathsheba, the mother of Solomon; nor with the virgin Mary, as the
Papists, who, they fancy, was immaculate and sinless, of which there is no proof.”
Doing the will of God and seeking His righteousness as daughters of the King
ensures we BECOME the virtuous woman.
However, a Christian marriage is the closest thing on earth that is representative of God in His fullness. It should be a testimony to the Gospel of Jesus Christ in and of itself. This is also why Paul adapts the language between Christ and the church as a model for husbands and wives in relation to their roles. He interprets the original creation of the husband-and-wife union as modeled by Christ’s union with the church. Marriage, therefore, having been established by God from the beginning of creation in Genesis. Remember, God made man in His own image. So, it would only make sense that marriage between male and female would be in the image of the relationship of Him and His people!
While this is not a checklist, I do believe that as a woman, we will want to do these things for God and for our husband. It is for the cause of Christ, and it goes back to the commandments that Jesus Christ left Himself:
And he said to him, “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
Matthew 22:37-39
As children of God, we should want to do everything we can to please and glorify Him!
To read my first post on biblical womanhood, click here!
My Prayer For YOU Grow As A Virtuous Woman
Lord, thank you that, through your love, mercy, and grace, I am becoming who YOU have called me to be! You have clothed me with your strength and dignity and garments of splendor. Help me to teach with words of wisdom and kindness. Help me to use the gifts, skills, and abilities you have so graciously bestowed upon me with for my family and my community in the way that You would have me to Father. Help me not to worry for the future but instead to prepare for the unexpected and contribute to the poor and needy. Lord, I know that You will equip me with everything I need to manage my household. In whatever I do, help me glorify you, and continue to be a virtuous woman who fears the Lord! In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Join me for our upcoming 30 day prayer challenge for wives to pray over their husbands, beginning March 4, 2024! More details to come!
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