Harmful vs. Helpful Shepherding – Part 1: Authority Abuse

Introduction

The most insidious form of spiritual abuse doesn't demand, "Obey me." It whispers, "Your hurt reveals what God needs to heal IN YOU first." Women exiting Word of Faith and deliverance ministries carry this wound deeply: the conviction that their legitimate questions about failed prophecies, unaccountable leaders, or spiritualized suffering signal pride, Jezebel spirits, or bloodline curses in their heart.

Peter dismantles this in 1 Peter 5:1–3:

So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed:

shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.

Christlike shepherds serve. Domineering ones deflect. The word Peter uses for domineering describes abusive overreach that crushes the sheep it claims to protect.

The Harmful Pattern: Spiritualized Deflection

Authority abusers rarely say "obey me"—it's too obvious. Instead, they cloak control in spiritual language that makes victims doubt their own perception of reality.

Examples:

- "Touch not God's anointed—your doubt grieves the Holy Spirit and blocks your breakthrough."

- "My job is divine revelation for you. Your role is alignment, not analysis."

- “If my word over your life isn't manifesting, let's pray to break the generational curse blocking your obedience."

Case Study

Sarah questions why her "apostle's" promise of supernatural debt cancellation never materialized after three years of seed-faith giving. Instead of pastoral humility, she hears: "Sister, God highlighted your bloodline rebellion during prayer. Your doubt opened a legal right for the Jezebel spirit. Let's map that principality first." Her legitimate grief becomes "spiritual warfare homework." Counseling targets her discernment as demonic rather than the leader's failed prophecy.

Theological Impact

This creates a spiritual inversion where:

1. The shepherd's authority becomes unquestionable because it's conflated with God's voice.

2. The sheep's discernment becomes suspect because it's labeled demonic or prideful.

3. Accountability flows one way—she must examine herself endlessly while the leader remains untouchable.

Her discernment designed by God for testing becomes the enemy. She learns to fear her biblical instincts as evidence of spiritual compromise.

The Biblical Corrective: Domineering vs. Servant Example

Peter's contrast is stark:

1. Shepherd "willingly, as God would have you" (v. 2)

Willingly emphasizes voluntary love, not compulsion. Jesus washed feet unasked (John 13:4–5). Abusers demand foot-kissing.

2. "Not for shameful gain, but eagerly" (v. 2)

The word eagerly reveals motivation—shepherds pursue flock maturity, not platforms, tithes, or prophetic pedigrees.

3. "Not domineering, but being examples" (v. 3)

appears 5x in the NT, always negatively.

Ephesians 5:21 Foundation:

"Submit to one another out cuz of reverence for Christ." Paul roots all NT authority—marriage, church, family—in mutual deference flowing from Christ's cross. Unilateral "submission without examination" finds no New Testament warrant.

Helpful Shepherds Welcome Berean Friction

Healthy leaders embody:

- Acts 17:11 Nobility: "The Bereans… examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true." Paul didn't call this witchcraft, prideful, or demonic and we KNOW he was an Apostle.

- Proverbs 27:17 Sharpening: "Iron sharpens iron.* Friction grows maturity.

- John 10:27 Discernment: "My sheep hear my voice." Jesus expects voice-recognition, not blind following.

Three Common Objections Answered Theologically

1. "Touch not God's anointed!" (Psalm 105:15)

Context: God protecting Abraham from pagan kings, not excusing pastoral abuse. David confronted anointed Saul directly (1 Samuel 24:6–7).

3. "Prophetic words require alignment, not testing."

Counter-example: Agabus bound himself publicly as proof (Acts 21:11). Deuteronomy 18:22 demands prophetic accountability.

4. "Unity requires silence on leader failures."

Psalm 85:10: "Righteousness and peace kiss each other." True unity rests on truth, not sin-coverage.

Application: Four Discernment Steps

1. Test the spirits, not titles (Matthew 7:15–20; 1 John 4:1).

2. Ask: "Show me in Scripture"—healthy leaders welcome this.

3. Seek external counsel—isolation breeds abuse.

4. Anchor in Christ's headship (Ephesians 1:22-23, Ephesians 4:15, Ephesians 5:23, Colossians 1:18)—no human voice supersedes the Chief Shepherd.

Prayer for Reclaimed Discernment

Father, where human voices have spoken as Yours, restore my ears to hear Christ clearly. Heal wounds that equated my questions with sin. Teach me to recognize domineer shepherding and embrace Berean nobility. Make me a sheep who knows her Shepherd's voice alone. Amen.