7 Signs of Spiritual Abuse You Need to Know
- cmzbishopenterpris
- Jan 8
- 7 min read
Updated: Mar 17
You may have heard the term "spiritual abuse" being thrown around some lately, but don't know exactly what to look for. First, let's define spiritual abuse. In their book, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, Johnson & VanVonderen define Spiritual abuse as the "mistreatment of a person who is in need of help, support or greater spiritual empowerment, with the result of weakening, undermining or decreasing that person's spiritual empowerment." (Johnson & VanVonderen, 1991, p. 20)
This is a definition that Dr. Bob Kelleman formed based on the study of Scripture. It "...focuses on pastoral-shepherding spiritual abuse. However, spiritual abuse can occur in non-church settings such as the home and para-church organizations."
Spiritual abuse is a spiritual role-reversal.
Rather than relating as a servant leader, the pastor/leader/authority figure pulls rank over others, lords it over others, and bullies others (Matthew 20:24-28; Luke 22:24-27; 1 Peter 5:1-6), living not for the benefit of the sheep, but for the benefit of the shepherd (Ezekiel 34:1-16; John 10:1-18).
Rather than clinging to and emulating the Great Shepherd by shepherding God’s flock (Acts 20:25-31; Ephesians 4:11-16; Ephesians 5:25-29; 1 Timothy 3:1-7; Titus 1:5-9; 1 Peter 5:1-6), a false shepherd, leader, or person in a position of authority, subtly (or not so subtly) demands that others exist to meet the shepherd’s needs (Matthew 20:24-28; Luke 22:24-27; James 4:1-4).
Rather than speaking the truth in love, and rather than ministering grace and truth (Galatians 6:1; Ephesians 4:11-16, 29; Colossians 4:3-6; 2 Timothy 2:22-26), the spiritually abusive pastor/leader/authority figure intimidates, judges, condemns, shames, and blames the sheep while neglecting the spiritual wellbeing of the sheep (Jeremiah 23:1-4; Matthew 23:1-39).
Rather than feeding the sheep, the shepherd becomes the wolf feeding on the sheep (Ezekiel 34:1-16; John 10:1-18; Acts 20:25-31). The Chief Shepherd exposes wolves in shepherd’s clothing (1 Peter 5:1-6). The Good Shepherd contrasts Himself with false shepherds (John 10:1-18).
You can read more from that article here.
Michael Kruger defines spiritual abuse in his book, Bully Pulpit: Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church, “…when a spiritual leader—such as a pastor, elder, or head of a Christian organization—wields his position of spiritual authority in such a way that he manipulates, domineers, bullies, and intimidates those under him as a means of maintaining his own power and control, even if he is convinced he is seeking biblical and kingdom-related goals."
Kruger outlines three key elements of spiritual abuse:
1. It involves someone in a position of spiritual authority.
2. It involves sinful methods of controlling and domineering others.
3. The abuser appears to be building God's kingdom but is really building their own
Another aspect of this is spiritual manipulation. The Association of Certified Biblical Counselors defines that as something that “…may happen when misuses or misinterpretations of Scripture are enforced in order to be a stumbling block, oppress, or control another person.” In short, it is the misuse of spiritual authority with Scripture to control, manipulate, or dominate others.
What is unusual about this is that these types of things have made their way into evangelical churches. People do not typically know that they are being exposed to Word of Faith teachings. Oftentimes, Word of Faith beliefs and teachings appear in small groups and Bible studies now. The pastor may be very biblically sound in his preaching, but the issues come in through other people in other ways. The pastor will hear or other leaders will hear about it, and they do not tend to think it is a big deal. Unfortunately, this is an issue and it is how many evangelical churches have now become more charismatic.
Scenarios Where We See False Beliefs Sneek In That Can Lead to Spiritual Abuse:
Here are some examples of what I am talking about that I see often, where the pastor is sound but the other studies and groups may not be:
Scenario 1: Women's Bible studies. As much as I hate to admit this, this is the number one culprit. Women want to be accepted and loved, and we are emotional creatures. The problem comes when the one in charge refuses to take a stand against unbiblical issues that may be infiltrating the women's study. A good example of this is a woman who comes along and tells others in the group to take up their authority over demons or something to this nature. If the leader doesn't put her foot down, it spreads like wildfire. It won't be long until it takes over.
Scenario 2: Prayer Meetings/Home Groups. This is a popular avenue too. A couple may come in who believes in deliverance and begins talking about their experience with it, A LOT. Because it is allowed to continue, others begin to see them as authoritative and begin going to them with their issues. Again, it spreads like wildfire and then begins to spread to other areas of the church.
The sad thing about these areas is oftentimes when someone says something they are made to feel as if they are being divisive. However, had the ones in charge truly protected those in the study/group, the confusion would not ensue. This is why we are told to not allow things that add to the Gospel in the body of Christ. Whether people admit it or not, that is precisely what these things do. It's also why these beliefs lead to spiritual abuse and manipulation.
Signs of Spiritual Abuse
Let's look at seven common signs of spiritual abuse or spiritual manipulation to look for in your community:
Intolerance for questions, doubts, or critical thinking. Word of Faith communities often discourage questioning teachings, claiming it shows lack of faith. Members may be told that doubts come from demons or that critical thinking is opposed to faith. Can doubt be a tool used by the enemy? We see that it clearly in the account in Genesis 3 when the serpent caused Eve to doubt God's command. It is also clear that Eve was held responsible for her actions. However, Satan introducing doubt isn't always the case. In Luke 1:5-24, we see the account of Zecheriah in which he doubts the word given to him by the angel of the Lord. Zecheriah was held accountable for his doubt and made mute due to it until the events happened. We are encouraged to ask God for wisdom if we are doubting something (James 1:5-8) and to increase our faith (Luke 17:6.)
Those who ask questions might be publicly rebuked or shamed. What does this look like? Many times, it begins in the form of love bombing and the individual feels loved, approved, and understood. The individual just wants to be recognized, and this need is met. To hold on to that, the individual will conform, whether it be to speak in tongues, be healed, etc. to keep from being cast out or banished from the group.
Word of Faith churches teach a prosperity gospel that exploits members financially. For example, one church claimed a member's "bottom line" increased when she prioritized giving to the church over other financial responsibilities. This manipulates vulnerable people into donating more.
Isolating members from family, friends, or outside influences. Members may be discouraged from associating with those outside the community, including family, under the guise of avoiding "worldly" influences or keeping them from receiving their blessings.
Claiming special revelation or exclusive access to God's will. We see these leaders often claim direct revelations from God, positioning themselves as having exclusive spiritual authority. The reason this is an issue is because they can claim things that are not true in the name of the Lord. By saying God speaks through them as an Apostle or Prophet, you are not to question them. A quite common example of this is the use of the phrase "Touch not God's anointed." People say this as though you have no right to question what someone is saying, or the Lord will strike you dead or punish you. We are told repeatedly to test things leaders say to Scripture, especially those claiming to speak for God.
There is a constant us vs. me mentality. I am not talking about the constant bickering over secondary issues we see in Protestantism. I am talking about those who add to the Gospel itself and then tell others not to go to other churches who do not practice and preach the way they do. For example, Jesse Duplantis recently told congregants if they weren't in a church that was preaching what they were preaching, they needed to get out of it. Here is a clip of that:
I will link the full breakdown we did on this sermon at the bottom of this article so you can watch that and the actual sermon in its full context if necessary.
Oftentimes, a culture of secrecy is created around the leadership to "protect" the image of the main pastor(s.) This is not what the Word of God teaches leaders to do. Again, Jesus modeled sitting with those who needed salvation and serving them. He walked with them.
This by no means is an exhaustive list, but it is just a few signs that you could be in a community that has some type of spiritual abuse or manipulation happening. If you are seeing these things in your community, don't panic. You are not alone, and it is normal to be concerned.
Here are a few resources:
The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen https://amzn.to/41ZKBXd
Bully Pulpit: Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church by Michael J. Kruger
A Christian Counselor Discusses Indicators of Spiritual Abuse
Here is the video I referenced on Jesse Duplantis:
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